Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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