Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
