Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
