Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
