i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
