you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
