rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
