Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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