get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
