this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
