He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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