Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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