Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My hand turned me down
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
