Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
