He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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