; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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