Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
