My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
