Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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