Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
