I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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