the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
