remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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