Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
