Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize