idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
