i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
