Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
