you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
