i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
