; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
someone threw a dead crab at me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize