So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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