I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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