I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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