somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Randomize