I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hippo gnu deer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
