I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
