): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
