That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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