Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
