you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
