shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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