Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
