This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
