His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This baby is an asshole
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
