You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
