That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dignity is for republicans.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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