I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize