that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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