I must be too annoying 4 u.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
