I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
