Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
