the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
