i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
