I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
