I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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