I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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