Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize