She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
